As a mom, there's no escaping the deep-rooted need to keep
your children on the right path. But what if one of your kids thinks the path
to happiness is through a sex change? And what if the other, while flailing
around, trying to find his way, pops out five alternate personalities? How do
you keep from having a nervous breakdown? How do you help the entire family
find peace again? Secret Selves is the surprising, touching, and sometimes
humorous account of a mother trying to ease the panic and accept the
unthinkable twists fate has dropped in her lap.
Jamie Johnson shares how even her
doubts and mistakes while raising her two very interesting children helped her
to eventually see life through different eyes. Her memoir is a book of
hope.
Q - What made you want
to write your story?
A - Well, there's a two part answer to that question. First: After the crazy
part of my life let me sit down and process what had happened, I thought, My God, what are the chances of
having these two kids? Really, it boggles my mind. I thought there
must be something I should to do with my experiences. The only thing I could
think of was to write. And I know that everyone has their story. When I was in the thick of
things during ours, I think I would have appreciated reading a book that gave
me hope. So that's what I tried to do. I wanted to give people something that
would say to them, "Take a deep breath; you can get through this."
Secondly: I wanted to educate. My kids don't talk much about what they went
through. And I know that both of the conditions they faced are highly
misunderstood. I am their voice.
Q - How are Kip and Joey
doing?
A - They're both doing very well. Kip got married last fall and I have a kooky
picture of him & Joey acting-the-fool for the photographer. It sits on an
antique sideboard in my living room. Joey says he's happier than he's ever been
right now.
Q - Why did you feel the
need to use a pen name?
A - There are several reasons why I changed the names and places in our story.
My biggest fear was that, somehow, because I had chosen to share our story,
something bad might happen to my kids. With prejudice there is always the real
danger of violence. But there were other worries too. I didn't want to make
their lives more difficult. There are going to be people who judge them; that's
just how life is. But I didn't want my kids to face, say, having a tough time
getting a job, or worse, losing a job because of me. I also didn't feel like I
had the right to share the private moments of our extended family's lives
without some measure of anonymity.
Q - If you want to
remain anonymous, how do you manage public appearances as Jamie?
A - "Jamie" looks a little different than I do. Her hair is curly.
She wears red glasses. She does her makeup a bit differently. Her style is not
the same as mine. Now, I know that anyone who knows me well will recognize me
right away. But those people already know we're the "characters" in
Secret Selves, so it doesn't matter. I look different enough that people who
haven't seen me very often will question themselves if they see the
resemblance. That's good enough for us. I very much want to do public appearances
so we had to find a solution to that. The more I get out there, the more I can
raise awareness and educate.
Q - Do your children
support your decision to write about what you've been through?
A - Oh yes, there's no way I would have written it if they didn't. They've both
read the book and feel very strongly about its messages. I'm sure I drove them
nuts when I was writing it though. I asked them questions constantly -- I
wanted to make sure I was remembering things as they happened. I wanted our
story to be real. I'd often call Kip and say, "Do you remember
when..." or "Do you still have that note I gave you when I started
calling you Kip?" I think he was amused at first, but I might have become
a bit of a pain in his...side, by the time it was finished. Joey read one of
the first drafts to make sure everything was accurate. He made notes in red all
the way through. At the end, he simply wrote -- Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.
That still makes me smile. I wrote the book as a gift to them.
www.secretselves.net
